In The Business of Chasing Dreams (part 3)

Last Friday was not an easy day. The issue of my visa status was still weighing heavily on my mind. Also, the night before I had stayed up until about 12:30am to try and pack up my stuff for moving, but I didn’t finish so I woke up again at 4am to continue to pack some more.

Yuji, the manager of the old guesthouse helped me move my stuff to the new one. It was my first time to enter the new place, and what a great place it is! I’ll try and do a blog later with pictures so you can see it. I was supposed to meet Nagisa, the manager of the new guesthouse downstairs at 11:40am, so I set my alarm for 11:38am and proceeded to unpack my stuff.

Well, the alarm went off, so I went to go downstairs, but as I tried to lock my door, I couldn’t find the key! I’d feel so stupid, to lose the key just minutes after it was given to me. I knew I had put it in my wallet, so I hastily ran into my room and cleaned out some cards and stuff, and also put away most of my money except for 2000 yen. Once I had ‘streamlined’ my wallet, I was able to find my key. So I met Nagisa, and together we walked back with me to my old place so I could finish cleaning it up.

Once I officially signed out of the old place, I tried to walk back to the new place. It’s only about a ten-minute walk between the two places, but it’s in a very residential area and the roads wind and twist and don’t really follow a logical sequence. So I got lost, I got very lost.

What should have been a ten-minute walk turned into a nearly hour-long head-scratching event full of wrong turns and plenty of backtracking. All in the scorching-hot, hazy, humid Tokyo summer. The whole time I was on my way back, my mind was racing. Why am I even bothering to move? I probably will have to go back in mid-September anyway, when my visa runs out. I should have just stayed at the old place.

My feet are prone to blistering, especially in the hot weather. And by the time I arrived at my new place once again, I had two blisters about half the size of a loonie, on each of the balls of my feet. And then another blister about the size of a quarter on the heel of my right foot. They were all excruciatingly painful.

So when I got back to my new place, I really wanted to take a very long sleep. I noticed someone had called my cellphone but I didn’t recognize the number, so I just ignored it. I set my alarm and then had a short two-hour nap before I had to get up to go see a student. I had a student at 4:30pm in Machiya.

So, I left early to walk to Kichijoji station, because I was worried I would get lost again. It was not easy to walk with blisters, and it was not easy to walk in the intolerable heat and humidity, but I told myself that I have to pay the bills somehow. So I hobbled my way to Kichijoji station. While I did take a wrong turn, I didn’t get TOO lost. And in a way, the detour was a very good thing, because I discovered a great restaurant for pancakes. I’ll put more about that in a separate blog as well.

So since I had some extra time, I decided to eat at the pancake restaurant. I noticed that same person from before had called me a second time, so I decided to call the number and see who it was. It was Yuri (pronounced like “Julie” but with a Y), my student from Machiya. She said she had a cold and she can’t come to the lesson.

So I walked all the way to Kichijoji for nothing, and I could have just slept at home for many more hours, if she had only left a message when she originally called. “Oh, that’s OK” I said in pleasant voice, in Japanese. “I can see you next week”. I wanted to scream.

So now what should I do? I thought. I don’t wanna walk all the way back to my place, with my blistered feet. But I have lots of time to kill. So I limped over to the hyakuen store to buy some stuff for my new place. I got a pot, a pan, two bowls, two sets of chopsticks, some plastic wrap, some dish soap and sponges, a tupperware container, and some other stuff... and when I took it all to the counter, they rang it in as 1470 yen.

Then I realized that because I had cleaned out my wallet earlier, and because I spent 600 yen at the pancake place, now I only had 1400 yen. Oops! So I took back one pair of chopsticks and paid the 1365 yen. And now I had 35 yen on me.

I still had a lot of time to kill, and my feet felt like they were gonna explode, so I decided to go to the coffee shop inside the station, because there I can use my Suica card. A Suica card is a kind of ‘smart card’ to simplify quick transactions of a small monetary amount. You just swipe it on your way into the subway station and it will automatically deduct the fare. You don’t even need to take it out of your wallet or purse or whatever, you can just hold it up there like a CHUBB security card. You can also use it in some vending machines, stores and restaurants, often at ones inside the train station.

So I ordered an iced coffee and a matcha-vanilla “twist” (soft ice-cream). I whipped out my wallet to pay with my Suica card, but there was no ‘beep’ to signify a payment was made. So I tried again. And again. And then I reached inside to try and find the card, and that’s when I realized. I must have taken out my Suica card when I cleaned out my wallet earlier, at my new place.

So after some profound apologies, I left the coffee shop and came to the realization that I had no choice, I had to go back to my place. No Suica card and no money means no way to take the train to my next student. So I embarked on the long, agonizing road back. By the time I got to my room, I was exhausted from the heat, and the excruciating pain of my feet. I set my alarm to wake me for the next student, cranked the air conditioner, drank 1 liter of water and then collapsed on my bed, in a pool of my own sweat.

When the alarm went off, I really didn’t feel well at all. I wanted to just crawl under the covers and forget all about the day. It doesn’t matter if I piss off my students, I thought. Because soon I’ll have to go back to Canada anyway. Maybe it’s for the best.

But then I realized that I can’t give up. If I give up, then years from now when I look back, I’ll think to myself that the reason I couldn’t stay in Tokyo is because I gave up. Even if I have to go back to Canada, at the very least I want to look back and say “I did everything I could.”

So I jammed my blistered, now-swollen feet into my shoes, and slowly and painfully made my way to Inokashirakoen station. And I noticed that, while it was still incredibly hot and humid outside, it was now getting into the evening, and the killer sun wasn’t quite as intense as before. And then my phone rang.

It was Mr. Fleming, from G-Communications. He offered me a teaching position at an eikaiwa school. He said that his company will sponsor my visa.

“I happily accept” I said. And any trace of exhaustion/frustration was gone from my voice. I sounded as fresh as a spring morning after a gentle rain. He said that I will get an e-mail from one of their staff on how to proceed with my visa application.

After I hung up the phone, I looked up and I saw my dream reassemble, right there in front of my eyes. A visa means a long-term stay. A job means a steady salary. And the chance for a much better job in the future. This is it. This is the key I’ve been hunting for, literally for years. This is my ticket in.

I said aloud “Holy Shit!” I just couldn’t think of anything else to say, so I said it many times, again and again. “Holy Shit!” “Holy Shit!” “Holy Shit!” A Japanese guy rode by on his bicycle, clearly baffled by my behavior. But I didn’t care about that. I didn’t care about the heat, my blisters, or anything like that. I just merrily continued on my way to the station.

I’m still not completely out of the woods. There’s a chance that G-Communications’ HR department will look at my diploma and complain that it’s not enough to apply for the visa. Or there’s a small chance that the government will reject my visa application as well.

But for now, on that line between hope and despair, I’m firmly planted on the side of ‘hope’. And that is a great feeling.

My dream is alive. I can see it right in front of me. I can’t touch it yet, but I can look it in the eye and say “Just wait right there, I’m on my way.”